How to Find a Therapist When You’re Feeling Anxious
Why Anxiety Makes the Search Feel So Hard
If you’re already feeling anxious, the idea of finding a therapist can feel overwhelming. You may notice your mind racing with “what ifs”:
What if I can’t find the right fit?
What if opening up feels too uncomfortable?
What if therapy doesn’t work for me?
These worries are completely normal. In fact, many people who eventually thrive in therapy start in the exact same place—uncertain, worried, and even questioning whether it’s worth the effort.
Anxiety thrives on uncertainty, and searching for a therapist is full of unknowns: new people, new routines, and new possibilities. It makes sense that your mind would try to protect you by imagining every possible “what if.” But here’s the important part: even the smallest step forward—sending an email, making a call, or browsing therapist directories—is progress.
Taking action doesn’t mean your anxiety disappears overnight. What it means is that you’re teaching your brain something powerful: I can feel anxious and still move toward what matters.
Start with Self-Compassion
Before you even begin your search, pause and recognize the courage it takes to look for support. Many people wait months or years before taking this step, often because anxiety convinces them it’s too difficult. The fact that you’re here, reading this, means you’re already challenging anxiety’s story.
Self-compassion is an important part of the process. Instead of pressuring yourself to get it “right” immediately, remind yourself:
I don’t have to have it all figured out today.
It’s okay if this feels overwhelming—most people feel this way at first.
Taking one small step is enough.
When you treat yourself with kindness rather than criticism, you create space for courage to grow.
Clarify What You’re Looking For
You don’t need a perfect plan before reaching out to a therapist. Simply asking yourself a few gentle questions can bring clarity:
What feels hardest for me right now?
What would I like to feel less of (e.g., worry, fear, panic)?
What would I like to feel more of (e.g., calm, confidence, connection)?
Even if your answers are vague, that’s okay. For example, you might know you want “less worry” or “more balance,” and that’s enough to start. Many therapists are trained to help you identify specific goals once you begin.
The important thing is to acknowledge your hopes—no matter how small or uncertain they feel. Therapy is not about perfection; it’s about progress.
Look for Evidence-Based Approaches
Not all therapies are the same, and it’s understandable to want reassurance that what you’re choosing will help. That’s where evidence-based approaches come in.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps people recognize and shift unhelpful thought patterns, gradually building healthier ways of responding to anxiety.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) teaches skills to accept difficult feelings while living in alignment with your values.
Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is especially effective for obsessive-compulsive disorder and specific fears, helping you face what you avoid with support and structure.
Knowing that these methods have been researched and proven to work can give you confidence that you’re investing in an approach that supports real change.
Pay Attention to Connection
Credentials and training matter, but therapy isn’t just about techniques—it’s about the relationship. Feeling understood, respected, and safe with your therapist is the foundation for healing.
Many therapists offer free consultations, and these can be an invaluable way to get a feel for the connection. Afterward, ask yourself:
Did I feel listened to without judgment?
Did I feel like the therapist was genuinely interested in me?
Did I feel a sense of ease, even if just a little?
If you can answer “yes” to these questions, it’s worth exploring further. And if you don’t, that’s okay too—it doesn’t mean therapy isn’t for you. It simply means your search continues, and each step brings you closer to someone who is the right fit.
Take One Step at a Time
Anxiety often urges you to figure everything out at once. But trying to solve the whole puzzle in a single day only adds pressure. Instead, break the process down into smaller, more manageable steps:
Make a short list of therapists.
Reach out to one or two.
Schedule an initial call or session.
When you take things step by step, the process feels less overwhelming. Each small action becomes a victory—and over time, those victories build momentum.
Reframing Common Worries
“What if I don’t find the right fit right away?”
Finding a therapist is a bit like finding a new friend or mentor—it can take time. If the first person isn’t a match, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Every experience is part of the process, and each one teaches you more about what feels right.
“What if I don’t know what to say?”
You don’t need a script to start therapy. Many people arrive to their first session saying, “I’m not sure where to begin.”That’s perfectly okay. A good therapist will guide the conversation and help you feel comfortable sharing at your own pace.
“What if my anxiety gets worse at first?”
It’s true that beginning therapy can bring up strong emotions. But that doesn’t mean therapy is making things worse—it means you’re touching on things that matter. A compassionate therapist will give you tools and support to manage those feelings as you grow.
Frequently Asked Questions About Finding a Therapist
How do I know if a therapist is the right fit for me?
You’ll usually get a sense of this in the first one or two sessions. Pay attention to whether you feel comfortable, heard, and respected. Therapy works best when you feel safe and understood, even if you still feel nervous.
What if I can’t afford therapy?
Therapy can be expensive, but there are options:
Ask about sliding scale fees (many therapists adjust rates based on income).
Look into community clinics, universities with training clinics, or nonprofit organizations.
Explore whether your insurance covers therapy, and check for telehealth providers who may be more affordable.
You deserve access to support, and exploring these options can make therapy more accessible.
What should I say in the first session?
You don’t need a script. Many people simply start with: “I’ve been feeling anxious and I want help.” Your therapist will guide you from there. If it helps, you can jot down a few things you’d like to share beforehand, but it’s not required.
How long does it take for therapy to start working?
Everyone’s journey looks different. Some people notice relief after a few sessions, while others take longer. Research shows that CBT-based approaches often bring noticeable improvements within 8–12 sessions, but therapy isn’t a race. Progress is about finding steady steps forward.
What if I try therapy and it doesn’t help?
It’s normal to worry about this. If you don’t feel progress after several sessions, talk to your therapist about adjusting the approach. And remember—it’s okay to change therapists. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right fit, and that’s part of the process.
A Gentle Reminder
If you’re anxious about finding a therapist, know this: you are not behind, broken, or failing. Feeling nervous about starting therapy is one of the most human things in the world.
And yet—by taking even the smallest step—you are showing courage. Reaching out for support doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you care enough about yourself to move toward healing.
You don’t have to figure everything out right now. You just need to take one small step. Whether that’s writing down your goals, sending an email, or making a call, each action is a powerful act of self-care.
You deserve support, understanding, and a space where your anxiety doesn’t have to define you. And with time, patience, and the right connection, therapy can become that space.
Encouragement for Today: Even if you’re not ready to book a session, try one small thing: write down what you hope to get from therapy or save the name of one potential therapist. That single step matters—and it counts.
Ready to Begin? Schedule a Free Consultation
Taking the first step can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re ready to explore therapy in a supportive, non-judgmental space, I invite you to schedule a free consultation.
This call is a chance to:
Share what’s been weighing on you.
Ask questions about therapy and what to expect.
See if we feel like a good fit to work together.
There’s no pressure, no commitment—just a safe space to begin. Schedule Your Free Consultation Today